When we think of families, for the most part, we think of happy times when life is going well. We should make our home a place where the entire family feels nurtured emotionally, spiritually and physically. Our homes are places where people feel strengthened and encouraged not criticized or judged.
This might be a difficult feat to accomplish with past influences of rebellion and selfishness. That’s where compromise and courage come into play. When we compromise, we keep an agreement between two parties that is mutually acceptable. When we want things our way and won’t budge or refuse to listen to other points of view, we cut ourselves off from compromise. We cut ourselves off from peace and harmony.
Compromise is not about winning or losing. It is about deciding that the other person has just as much right to be happy with the end result as you do. Compromise is an essential ingredient to happy relationships in marriage and parenting and is a powerful skill to develop in young children.
There are a few tools we can use to help us along this path of compromise:
Respect: Respect means many things to many people but at NAFFA, respect is regard for the feelings, wishes and rights or traditions of others. Respect for ourselves and others allows us to make better choices.
Vision: Vision is seeing a meaningful future and acting upon this dream. Without vision we are easily distracted. True vision is not a fantasy or wishful thinking but is based on lasting principals while bringing purpose and direction into our life. This gives us confidence and the ability to improve ourselves.
Attitude: Attitudes are powerful. They make a difference and greatly influence the choices we make towards life. We can be happy, or we can be miserable. There is nothing that will have greater immediate impact on our happiness and success in life than our attitudes.
Misunderstandings will still develop even in the longest relationships which can lead to damaging hurt feelings. This is where courage comes into play. Understand it takes courage to do what is right by counseling with family members in a nonjudgmental environment. Courageous people obey rules and laws and compromise with others which leads family members to come up with a mutually acceptable agreement.
We must have a desire to lead people to do what is fair. This has a powerful effect upon the minds of those who are important in family discussions. Remember, our families are affected by everything we do, whether good or bad. Children especially watch, hear and learn from what happens at home. If we do not provide positive leadership and loving relationships in our homes, our children will look for that support and strength someplace else which might not be safe.
We have the ability to change. When we know what is right, we need the courage to follow through regardless of what others might think of us. We have to be brave in knowing that our efforts in choosing good for our families might cause discomfort and even personal pain, yet we need to move forward on the path of goodness. Change doesn’t happen in an instant but once we begin to improve our family life, we will see more clearly the choices which are necessary for continual recovery to a nurturing family setting.
Be grateful for your family. Walk along the right path, move forward in learning to compromise and have courage to follow through in strengthening family relationships.